A Few Holiday Memories

We're leavin' on a jet plane baby! 

I don't think this picture does it justice, but as a size comparison notice the propeller, then notice the vehicles on the tarmac.    

Vancouver Airport is no joke.  

Finally, we're in Bangkok.  The Thais love themselves some Christmas.  

Went north to Chaing Mai after a few days.  

Requisite picture of elephants  

Refreshing waterfall after a warm hike in foothills surrounding Chiang Mai

Yes, those are more elephants.  I mean they are a majestic animal.  C'mon.

Took a cooking class at an organic farm.  Here we are in the farm.  

Here we are in the kitchen. 

And, now we're hungry!  Hope you had a Happy Holiday too?

Maybe it's just swelling?

God I love Bangkok!

hikes-a-daisy

sunrise over the Himalayas

hike at sunset from the Ashram

Nasik, India

Justin captures the moment, early morning in Thailand.

Luang Prabang, Laos.

Hmong village, trekking in Laos.

the scramble

chillin'

the village from above

local characters

foot-volleyball

Kayaking along the Mekong.

The Buddha cave en route back to LPB

crossing the river for our last kilometer

The pavement at Angkor Wat

sunset in Angkor

family hike near the Great Wall of China

bushwhacking

Justin has decided he is not a big fan of hiking

Ancient ruins of an early portion of the Great Wall

Everest. Just kidding! From the Shanghai Art Museum

YOSEMITE

Half Dome in the distance

From the Four Mile Trail to Glacier Point.

El Capitan.

Yosemite Falls, tallest waterfall in North America

Bridalveil Falls

nice cleavage

to Tuolomne Meadows

The O'Shaughnessy Dam at Hetch Hetchy. Serving San Francisco since 1923.

Hetch Hetchy

From the top of the dam.

How now Lao? Wow!

Getting to Lao entailed busing all day to Chang Kong in the north of Thailand. Thankfully Noi, our driver, made Justin and me sit up front so we able to plug my iPod into the van's speakers and drink beer, which is not illegal here. I have had a lot of long road-trip djing experience, (thanks Lo and Ash) and was more than happy to oversee the task. It was also a good opportunity to listen to a lot of the new music that I added to my iPod in Koh Tao. All of our fellow passengers expressed their gratitude for our efforts.

After a pleasant enough six hour drive we pulled into the guesthouse where we were staying and promptly overheated. Spending all day in the air-coned van left us woefully unprepared for the stiffing heat and humidity. By now I have just accepted that for the next month I will be constantly sweating. And I don't mean sweating in a normal Canadian kind of way. This is the kind of sweating where large beads of moisture are forever forming and streaking down all over every body part. The kind of sweat where rings are not confined to the underarms but are in fact visible where ever fabric meets skin. You basically always look like you have just gotten out of the shower. But in fact you desperately need to get into one.

Our guesthouse for the night was nice enough. Although it was overrun with other Laos bound travelers who partied late into the night irritating Justin and me. The next morning we got up before 6am so that we could go down to the morning market and get fresh fruit for the long boat journey. The morning market was great. There wasn't anything about it that was particularly special but it felt like a genuine local market unlike others we have seen (i.e the floating market near Bangkok.) In other words there were no beer logo t-shirts for sale. We got quite a few stares and more than one chuckle at our expense, but we enjoyed ourselves nonetheless. And I will remember it as one of our most authentic moments in Thailand

After breakfast, if you can call it that, we packed up and waited for the bus to take us to the ferry which would shuttle us across the Mekong to Laos. While waiting we met a few of the other travelers who we would come to know over the next three days of travel. There were quite a few Canadians and a group of really nice guys from Tennessee as well as innumerable Brits. Apparently there is a video of the Vang Vieng tubing on Youtube which became a viral hit in England and now Laos is THE destination for gap year Brit kids. Some of them have been really nice but by and large they have been a bit of a pain in the ass. (The Brits were the major offenders in Chang Kong.)

After sitting around waiting for an inexplicably long time we were finally told to board the bus and we headed for the border crossing. Crossing the overland boarder into Laos involved visiting no less than three windows on each side of the river, handing over my passport to complete strangers with no explanation more than half a dozen time and shelling out way more money than expected. The exchange rates up there were decidedly unfriendly to budget travelers, which was just about everyone there since anyone with any money or sense would have skipped this rigmarole and flown. Eventually we were all loaded onto another bus on the Laos side of the border and were headed for the slow boat that would be our mode of transportation for the next two days to Luang Prabang.

But before we could get on the boat we were forced to endure a thoroughly infuriating shpeel by our Thai tour leader about how the Lao people can't be trusted and that we should be wary of everyone. And perhaps most importantly that we should A.) book our guesthouse for our overnight on the river through them and that B.) It would be a good idea to change Thai Bhat to Laos Kip now with them, or we risked getting ripped off. Right, the Lao people are the ones to watch out for. Justin and I rolled our eyes a' la Jean Amabile and headed to the boat.

It was a long day of floating through sublime scenery. And while Laos is stunning it is only so long before the beauty becomes monotonous and all you want is to get up off the floor of the boat and step on dry land. It didn't help that three of the six or seven people around us were the biggest twats we have met so far. We didn't actually even meet them but we knew they were twats nonetheless. (Brits - no surprise there.*) Finally at around 5pm we docked at a small village, the name of which escapes me, and happily disembarked. We found accommodation, not surprisingly much cheaper than the offer from the Thais at the border, and went for dinner.

It was a fairly uneventful night for us, made even more uneventful when we heard what happened to our friend Philip who had been ahead of us by a day. Apparently when they rocked up their whole boat had had a few drinks and later in the night ended up smoking opium with some locals. (Philip notwithstanding.) He went to bed shortly there after but was awoken in the middle of the night by a fellow traveler who had been beaten in the head and couldn't find his travel companion. He did end up finding her, but apparently he had suffered quite a beating. By whom remains unknown.

Our night was no where near as exciting, thankfully. The next morning we again assembled at the dock and waited to depart for our final leg to Luang Prabang. We were due to arrive mid afternoon. But unfortunately some of the travelers had been given the wrong departure time by there guesthouse and we ended up leaving an hour late. Despite being behind schedule we pulled into Luang Prabang with plenty of daylight left to search for accommodation, and have a nice dinner. But it was a long journey.

Since arriving in Laos we have been here in LPB almost a week, and so far I think this might be one of the best places we have been so far. (The heat however is nearly unbearable.) It is certainly the most beautiful city I have seen in Southeast Asia. We have enjoyed strolling around, for as long as we can bear, and have loved the atmosphere of the old French quarter where we are staying. One day we took a day trip to the nearby waterfalls and swimming hole. The waterfalls were absolutely breathtaking and it was so refreshing to take a dip in the cold water. They even had a rope swing. Sadly, I did not partake because I didn't want to get my hand wet yet. So I mostly just sat in the shallow end and read my book.

The last two days I went on a trekking/kayaking trip on my own with Green Discovery tour company. Me and seven others hiked 15 km through babbling brooks and local farming villages until we came to a largish village where we stayed overnight, and had a delicious communal Lao style dinner. We got to bathe at the local watering hole, since the village had no plumbing and minimal electricity. The watering hole consisted of little more than a trickling stream funneled through a bamboo shoot, where all the water used by the villagers is collected. We had to bathe in the traditional style, which means fully clothed, which was awkward and didn't leave any of us feeling particularly clean. But it was a memorable experience. After dinner the guides offered us shots of Lao Lao, rice whiskey, which was shocking palatable and we all told riddles and sang songs until bed time. One of the best days on the trip. Aside from being woken by roosters at 2:30 am and not being able to get back to sleep, (those roosters are persistent,) I felt pretty well rested and ready for another full day of trekking and kayaking.

After breakfast and delicious Lao coffee we headed off for another intense hour or two of hiking. It was only 8:30am, at the latest, but already it was hot and everyone was sweating buckets by the time we came to the road, where we met the truck with our gear for the kayaking leg of the trip. We kayaked for almost 20 km and it was after 4 pm by the time we reached the Buddha Caves, our end point for the kayaking. The river is so low since it is the end of the dry season, and that made our efforts down labored and slow.

Sarah, my kayaking buddy and I did pretty well but we did have one mishap, which involved a tricky set of rocks that sprang up out of nowhere and capsized us as I tried to steer around them. We ended up going over the rocks sideways and Sarah, at the front, got jammed up on top of them while I, still free at the back, continued sliding along with the current. That caused us to go over, and Sarah end up pinned under the kayak against a rock for a few terrifying moments. When she popped up I could tell she was a bit shaken, and had lost her bearings. I told her to hold on to the kayak as we came through the white water and to keep her legs up. Considering how scared she must have been she responded really well and we were able to right our kayak and climb back in with some help from the guides. The only casualty of our accident were Sarah's sunglasses which never surfaced. And I for one was glad that was all we lost. We took stock of everything in our dry sacks and all the stuff strapped to the boat and everything appeared to be fine. We didn't even lose a paddle down the river. All in all it was a minor incident. We were lucky as well because a few of the other vessels had major leaks and two of the boats were constantly taking on water and were forever needing to stop and dump it out.

Overall that was my one criticism of Green Discovery. The kayaking gear and instruction from our otherwise fantastic guides definitely left a little to be desired. We weren't the only team to capsize either and I blame that accident entirely on poor white water instructions. And by poor I mean non-existent. We got some basic distress signals and a demonstration on forward and backward strokes but that was it. The Dutch couple who went over had never kayaked in white water before, and at least one of them had never even kayaked at all. They flipped because when they got to the rapids they stopped paddling altogether and turned sideways which of course left them more susceptible to the waves. But we were in very easy rapids and it was so shallow that nobody was ever in any really serious danger. At least as long as they didn't panic, which nobody did. It was a long day on the river though and by the time we got to the Buddha Caves everyone was completely spent.

We didn't stay at the caves long before we headed across the river and boarded our van to go to the elephant sanctuary, our last stop for the day. I say sanctuary but that isn't really accurate, since there were only two elephants there and we got to ride them. I don't think they usually let you ride elephants at a real sanctuary. Being on top of that great animal I definitely had misgivings but I am glad I got to experience it once. They are so big and strong it is amazing to feel their power beneath you.

We were also supposed to stop at the nearby Whiskey village where they make the famous Lao whiskey but we were behind schedule so we opted to skip it and headed back to Luang Prabang. All of us agreed to meet for dinner and we had a lovely evening reminiscing about the trip and sharing our travel stories. All in all it was really fun couple of days. But it was an early evening because we were all exhausted and a few of the group members were departing Luang Prabang in the morning. Today I didn't do much of anything. It was unbearably hot, surprise surprise. Justin had suggested when i got back to LPB that we might want to change our plans and head south a day early. I was too tired to discuss it last night but when i woke up this morning to another day of unfathomable temperatures I saw the wisdom in making for the water and agreed to head to Vang Vieng and the famous tubing tomorrow...



*NO offense to all of the lovely Brits out there but some of your Limey brethren are really unbearable. And as an American with equally awful countrymen I can attest.

It should also be noted that all of the Brits on my trek were lovely. Not a drunk pain in the ass in the bunch. Thank god the drunks of any nationality aren't really into trekking.

Thailand is very...

Justin and I got into the habit of making, ...is very statements constantly in Thailand. Right from the beginning, when we got on the plane, until we crossed the boarder into Laos we were always commenting on the sights, sounds and attitudes around us. So I thought what better way to sum up our month in Thailand than by giving you a short list of how "very..." everything in Thailand is. To start:
The abundance of air hostesses on Thai Airways are very - "May I help you?... O sorry, hee hee. I don't speak English."
The airport in Thailand is very - " yea we hate Indians." Actually that was observed not just at the airport but all over Thailand in fact. The Thais are sticklers about cleanliness and they don't appreciate the Indians more "natural" appearance and hygiene.
Bangkok is very - ling ling - which actually means power power. So all those jokes I used to make back home, courtesy of Ab Fab were actually an accurate descriptor.
Bangkok is also very -party hard sleep late. "Wats, what wats?"
As I previously mentioned Thai protests are very - "souvenirs and snacks anyone" That is until they send the army in and then they are very - "Aaahhhh get me out of here. What is going on?"
Asking Thai people about Thai politics is very - "Politics what politics, just have another beer. Better yet have a bucket."
Thais are very - "We love the King."
Drag shows in Bangkok and Koh Tao are very - "We don't know the words but we move our mouths just the same."
Koh Phangan is very - "oh you wanted to get some sleep, yea fuck you."
The Thais of the south are very - I'll smile in your face but I'm laughing at you inside.
Koh Tao is very - Scuba dive or else...
Koh Tao is also very - temptation island. (For straight people)
Bus travel in Thailand is very - we could keep going but we'd rather stop to eat.
Eating in Thailand is very - fried fried and more fried
Being vegetarian in Thailand is very - "hahaha fuck you."
SK House Guest house is very - "quickly quickly get her a tuk tuk and get her to the hospital before any other guests see her."
The staff SK House are very - "yea they don't pay me enough to care, or eat actually."
Chiang Mai hospital is very - "Thank god we're still in Thailand."
The staff at the hospital were also very - nine nurses for ever farang
Thai massage is very - "stretch bitch."
Getting to Luang Prabang is very - "o you are too poor to fly, that sucks for you."
The Thais at the overland border crossing are very - "this is our last chance to rip you off and we are going to milk it for all it is worth."
The Thais are also very - "don't let the Lao people rip you off, we'll take care of that ourselves."
The vendors at the morning market were very - "what are those white people doing up so early?"

My O Chiang Mai

... So there we were in the middle of the jungle when the batteries ran out on the flashlight (torch.) That's when I knew we were really in trouble. We had lost the trail hours ago and once the sun had set it was dark almost immediately. Luckily we had found a place to make camp. But without the torch and all the wet weather making fire impossible we knew we were in for a long night. It was then that I heard the soft patter of paws and rustling in the forest. But nothing could have prepaired me for for the adrenline rush when I looked out into the night and saw two glassy, enormous eyes looking back at me. From my position on my knees those eyes were over my head by about half a foot. And it wasn't thirty seconds before the tiger opened its huge mouth and let out a ferocious roar right in my face. Much of what happened after that I can't remember. But I do remember when it claw dug into my hand as I went to protect Justin's innocent sleeping body...

Or maybe...

I was swimming through the reef marveling at how warm and crystal clear the water was. And thinking as I breathed slowly through my scuba regulator that life might be perfect. Mariska my diving buddy was ahead of me by about 2 meters when suddenly the sunlight overhead was blocked out by something huge above me. I hoped it was a passing boat but still my breath caught in my throat. I didn't want to look up but there it was above me the huge shark circling over head. It was then that i noticed the blood on my leg. I must have bumped into some coral, I thought. I covered my leg with my hand and tried to steady my breathing. I looked around but found that I was suddenly alone. Just then the shark became incensed and I knew it had the scent. It began circling wider and swimming deeper until it was level with me. I deflated my BCD so I would have all possible power for the inevitable charge. We squared off and I tried to grab my weight belt from around my waist to wrap around my hand, but the shark was too fast and suddenly it was upon me. I pulled back my hand and gave it one solid punch in the nose. The shark began to thrash wildly and clamped down on my palm, before turning quickly and swimming away. And just like that it was over. I started to pass out when I saw several figures swimming towards me, and that was the last thing I remembered, until I woke up in the Koh Tao hospital...

Or ...

Everything seemed quite on Soi Rambuttri, in the heart of Bangkok's Bamglamphu neighborhood. After we finished our dinner we thought it seemed safe, sure there were less people out but it appeared to be business as usual. So we decided to go for a walk and burn off some of the dinner calories. But as we neared the end of Rambuttri the energy shifted. It was as if the winds propelling a huge fire suddenly changed and the blaze was coming right for us. Before we knew it we were face to face with the Red Shirts clashing with the police and the army. Riot geared men ran past and pushed us aside and the crowd encircled us. Justin and I lost contact and I was pushed forward by the momentum of the armed men. I tried desperately to work my was to the side, but then suddenly a can of tear gas that had been thrown from behind me into the crowd of Red Shirts ahead of me blew back in my face. I doubled over trying to avoid the stinging gas. But stumbled and began to panic. I wanted desperately to stay on my feet. It was then I heard the soft whimpering of a child nearby. I blinked through the tears until I could see the young girl within arms reach. I quickly grabbed her and swept her into my arms. When suddenly i heard shouts and the riot men all around me looked menacing and crazed. The pushing became more intense and I realized we were at the front of the line, right up against the fray. Suddenly a grenade came flying through the air. It was as if everything went into slow motion. I watched it sail like a baseball overheard into the crowd of police behind me and the young girl. All around I could see the crowds faces becoming grotesque and panic stricken. People pushed in all directions. But the police could only move backwards I saw this as my chance to escape into the crowd of Red Shirts. In less than a second I had pushed my way into the RS mob before me and threw my body on top of the young girls, shielding her from the immenent blast. When it came it shock the earth and sent debris flying in all directions. My hand flew up to protect my face. And I became unconcious of the next several moments. I watched the violence around me but the sound was muted by the deafening blast. I looked down to see the girl shaking but unharmed, and then I saw the huge piece of glass lodged in my palm. The Red Shirted men above me saw it too and they lifted us up and carried us like crowd surfers at a concert to the back of the mob...

OK fine I was at the pool after day two of Thai massage class. I had my empty Leo bottle in my hand and was heading towards the room when I stepped off the carpeted mat onto the slick tile and fell. I guess I thought it would be better to keep the bottle from breaking all over and making a mess. When I hit the ground with a thud I realized the glass bottle had broken my fall and I could feel the thick glass penatrating the skin of my palm. I dropped the neck, ( bottle still broke by the way,) in an instant and looked down at my hand. I don't want to disturb you with what I saw, but the inside of your hand is not sexy. Lots of layers of skin, tendons all over the place, bones etc. I was in shock so I was actually quite calm. I just held my hand up towards Justin and said, "that's gonna need stitiches." Thankfully Justin pretty much took over after that. He ran and got me a towel to apply compression and stop the bleeding and got me clothes so I didn't have to go to the hospital in my bathing suit. What a guy!

The Chiang Mai Ram Hospital is highly recommended. It was spotlessly clean, duh. But also there was nobody there. In fact I haven't waited once in the three times I have been. (I have had to go back for several follow ups. No new injuries to report.) Anyway, five nurses doted on me while I waited for Dr. Seree (Doc) to stitch me up. He was great, had studied medicine in Chicago so we talked about hockey, basketball and baseball while he made me good as new. I had 26 visable stitches and at least as many inside my hand. I didn't know but apparently for deep cuts you have to stictch the inside as well. Huh, learn something new everyday right! It did run me 10,000 bt. though (approx $335) which was a bit of an ouch in and of itself, but I guess it is better than having your hand hanging open right? Anyway I was very good, very brave and of course insisted that Justin document the whole thing. He has excellent pictures. So that is really the crux of Chiang Mai as far as I am concerned.

Actually not. We have been here two weeks and have really enjoyed it. The Thai massage course has been absolutely amazing, even with the injury. And the second week our friend Philip came up to meet us. It was nice having another traveler along for the ride for a while. And also made Justin and I appreciate traveling together when he left. We also rented bicycles, (pre-stitches.) I never even contemplated returning the bike, since I figured I can ride without hands at home. One-handed here should be no problem. I know, I am so bad ass to ride a bicycle with stictches in my hand. Tell me about it. I did rock a super sexy helmet though, so don't be too alarmed. Anyway that made getting around town easy and we got to see lots of areas of the city we wouldn't have seen on foot. Of course we missed out on lots of sights too because we were in class most of the day but can't win em all right? Anyway next up is Laos. We leave tomorrow after our final exam and then we have about three days of travel before we arrive in Luang Prabang. It is going to be amazing!

I will give you the Thailand highlights and lowlights in the next post, after we have offically departed! Also just a heads up that i know there are probably a ton of spelling errors in this post but I can't spell check it because I don't know how to reset the language on the internet browser of this computer. It is in German, or possibly Dutch. So forgive me.

I'll see your Chang and raise you a Singha. Buckets are trump!

Justin and I had every intention of skipping full-moon-party-central Haad Rin when we got to Koh Phangan. So when we arrived we headed straight to the Northeast to a reportedly beautiful beach area known as Ao Thong Nai Pan Noi. And beautiful beach it was. Unfortunately it was also full of honeymooners and families. And while I like a honeymooning family just as much as the next girl, if I am not actually on my honeymoon or with kids I don't really want to spend all my time with them. You know? Besides Justin was overwhelmed by all of the showy heterosexuals. I mean he accepts our lifestyle, as he puts it, but he doesn't really want to watch straight people make out constantly. So after one Thai cooking class, the lamest Songkran known to man, and perhaps one of the best dinners of the trip so far we had exhausted the charms of Ao Thong Nai Pan Noi by day three, and decided to bite the bullet and make for the debauchery of Haad Rin.

We managed to find a really charming bungalow, for cheap, since we weren't in town for the full moon. Our place was on top of Mushroom Mountain, (I'll give you one guess why they call it Mushroom Mountain,) with a beautiful view overlooking the whole bay. At first we thought being at the opposite end of the beach and up on the hill away from the party zone would shield us from the all night revelry. But after the first night we realized that the only way to sleep in Haad Rin was to get blindly drunk and pass out, especially since noise travels more over water than land and we faced directly out over the bay. That first night we took it easy and were home by 2 but even with ear plugs we were up till well past 4 am. We made sure to rectify that the next two nights but not even bothering to go home until 4. We were aided in that effort by the infamous gulf island buckets. Basically childrens beach pails full of Thai whiskey, coke and red bull, a lively combination. (We skipped the red bull, because we are responsible drinkers. But didn't skip the whiskey because we're clearly not THAT responsible.)

The best thing about Haad Rin was that the beach, which was basically deserted all day since everyone is out all night. So we had the beach and the bay practically all to ourselves everyday till about 4pm. The crowd at Haad Rin are really 4pm to 4am kinds of folks. Other than that there really isn't much to write home about as far as Koh Phangan is concerned. I suppose if we had stayed for the Full Moon Party, which is tonight by the way, we might have more of a story. But instead we left Koh Phangan for Koh Tao, Koh Phangan's smaller neighbor to the North.

Koh Tao is basically a scuba divers paradise. I wasn't sure if I wanted to dive on this trip, but I brought my PADI id with me just in case. But when I got to Koh Tao I realized that not diving would be ridiculous. It would have also have been insanely expensive, since the resorts give you crazy financial incentives to dive, i.e if you dive you can stay here for free. So I decided to do the Advanced Open Water course. AOW meant I was going to do 5 dives in 3 days including a deep dive, a navigation dive and a night dive. But that wasn't enough for me, oh no. I had to go and blow the budget on getting Nitrox certified and do my first tech dive. For all of you not up on the diver lingo those are basically really bad ass.

Nitrox is when you dive with an enriched oxygen tank that lets you dive deeper longer. To get certified for that you have to take a special course and an exam, and do two Nitrox dives. On my second Nitrox dive I got buddied up with two guys from the States. Team America as we were infamously called. We got the nickname after our second dive. We were only supposed be down for 50 minutes, although I had enough air for probably twice as long. At about minute 48 I signalled the other two guys that we needed to head back. They both gave me the international/underwater signal for fuck that we're not going back yet. I figured well alright we can stay another few minutes. At about minute 68 I started to panic and signalled them that we really needed to head back, again I was poo pooed. At that point I didn't know what to do. I could a.) surface and swim back to the boat alone or b.) stick it out with my buddies (a.k.a. dudes who do what the fuck they like because that's what they learned in America.) Since I had not been the one navigating and had no idea how far from the boat we actually were, and since I had by far the most air I figured sticking with Team America was best. After all I am a nationalism right?

Once we finally began to head back to the boat, around minute 71, I freaked again because even though they tell you to trust your compass I had a sinking feeling we weren't heading anywhere near the boat. I was so disoriented that I finally decided to surface and figure out where we were. And it is a good thing I did because the dive instructors told me later that they were minutes away from putting on their gear for a search and rescue mission. But once they spotted me with the zoom lens they didn't have to come find us. It turns out that we were heading in the right direction but we were a good 70 meters from the boat, which sucked cause I had to swim on the surface to get back. We got a decent ribbing when we did eventually get back to the boat, since we were now almost 20 minutes late and the boat was expected back at Ban's (the dive school) for the night dive immediately.

I totally blamed the guys, (stupid Americans) although at least initially it was as much my fault as theirs. But I did learn a valuable lesson. You are only as strong as your weakest diver and if one diver needs to surface or head back as a buddy you are obligated to do the same. I wish the guys had listened to me in the first place because it would have saved me the panic attack. On the other hand I did get a few really massive hauls of the Nitrox which wasn't so bad, and definitely made me feel amazing later. Nitrox is addictive.

My last day in Koh Tao I decided to do my first tech dive. Well actually they up-sold me on the tech dive by buying me free beers and telling how cool I would be. It didn't hurt that Craig, from Kelowna*, was going to be my instructor. Tech diving is the ultimate as far as I am concerned. If you get certified as a tech diver you can dive with multiple tanks and in the really advanced stages you can even use recirculating air, which means you can basically live underwater. You also use tech equipment to do cave and cavern diving, and when you want to go really deep for certain wreck dives etc.

Diving in Koh Tao is awesome, but not just because the diving is good. In fact I am sure it is just ok, but the atmosphere is amazing. All of the travelers and dive instructors are really cool, and everyone just hangs out and makes new friends. And all of the bars have live bands that play acoustic music, which according to our new friend Philip is, "actually shit, but people seem to like it." It is a bit like scuba diving camp, but in Thailand and with booze and sex. (Although I guess sex is pretty standard at camp too, eh Lauren? I wouldn't know.) We made some great new friends. And I did get to met Jim who is Koh Tao legend. He's a dive instructor famous for getting all of the Swedish chicks that are NBO, (that's Next Boat Out. charming right?) Jim became quite a good joke among a few of us. In fact we met more cool people in Koh Tao than we have anywhere else so far on the trip. We also met some wackos but that's not a story for the blog. ( Read ask Justin about that one.)

We stayed in Koh Tao six days and I was genuinely depressed to go. More sad I think than anywhere else we've been so far," and at least 20 % of that is because..." ( Sorry that is an inside joke. Shameless I know.) But before we knew it it was time to up and leave. Next stop Chiang Mai in the north where Justy and I are going to become professional Thai masseurs...

*Craig is from Kelowna which means he is obviously a babe.

Ladyboys, Redshirts and Riot Police

Ok, so I realize I have not been good at posting the last two weeks. But in my defense the islands in Thailand's Gulf Coast charge an astronomical rate for Internet time and I am ashamed to admit it but these posts usually take a while. And we have been having way to much fun to sit inside at anInternet cafe for more than ten mnutes. But I didn't want you all to feel that you hadn't been getting your weekly Lyze fix. (Read I want to be sure you are all still jealous.) So here's the latest update:

We left India as I mentioned and flew straight to Bangkok. For the first few days we absolutely loved it. The transportation systems are great. We got to take water ferries, the sky train and even the city buses without any trouble, and for relatively little cost. We saw the Grand Palace, stunning, and went to eat at the food courts at MBK mall. We even went to see a movie. Which made Justin, and me, very happy.

The best part about the movie was the Thai National Anthem, which they play before each and every film, and sometimes just randomly in the mall. When ever the anthem is played everyone is expected to stand at attention and remain silent with their hands by their side. I was super excited about, since you know I love nationalism. And Justin told me after the movie that he had never seen me move so fast. He said he had no idea what was going on but the next thing he knew I had jumped out of my seat and had a shit eating grin on my face. While the anthem is playing they show amazing still shots of the King doing kingly stuff, like gettin' bowed to and cuttin' ribbons, inspecting infrastructure. You know the usual. I loved it. The Thai's really LOVE the King. I mean I thought Canadians liked the Queen, and Americans like Barrrrrrack, but they have got nothing on the Thai devotion to the King. Everyone, and I am not exaggerating, has framed portraits or pictures of the King in their shops and homes.

We also went down to Patpong, where they have a night market much like Canal street in NYC and is also where all the sex shows and clubs are. Justin and I went out dancing two nights while we were in town. And surprise surprise I was even brought up on stage to perform in the drag show. ( I have totally accepted that these things are always happening to me.) It was so much fun. We met some really great people in Bangkok as well. An there were so many beautiful ladyboys

But it was definitely not all fun and games. Bangkok is currently besieged by rural Thai protesters known as the red shirts. They have taken over the main shopping district near Siam Square. There are four separate malls in that neighborhood and all of them have been closed for weeks because of the protesters. They are also camped out in the Banglamphu area, near Khao San Rd at the democracy monument, quite close to where we were staying. And as the week progressed the situation began to deteriorate. Some much so that the PM actually called a state of emergency while we were in town. It seemed at first to have relatively little impact on our touring and partying but two days before we left the violence actually got quite intense.

One night, after Justin had been told earlier in the day to go back to his hotel by a shopkeeper, advice we of course heeded, we came dangerously close to being caught in the fray. We had laid low all day but in the evening it seemed to have quieted down so we went for a post dinner stroll, and turned a corner and found ourselves face to face with a violent stand off between protesters and police. I could hear gun shots and could see and feel the tear gas as we retreated back towards our hotel. But it being Bangkok it was almost not surprising to see people not 10 meters away from these horrific scenes of unrest drinking beer and gawking.

Unreal! Anyway we spent the next day and a half hanging out at rooftop pool of our hotel. O yea did I mention the rooftop pool? Well we had one. AnyIHadARooftopPool we were pretty ready to get going after all that excitement and we left last Sunday morning for Koh Phangan...

highlights of Bangkok
DJ Station, our gay club of choice
@Richard's our gay bar of choice - we were very gay
The Grand Palace - where Justin's outfit was too revealing and he had to rent long pants
city transport and general ease -as compared to India.
MBK Mall and Date Night starring Tina Fey and Steve Carell
pool

Lowlights of Bangkok
Not getting to see some of the sights we had hoped to due to the unrest
The unrest - needs no further explanation
The ladies who nearly stole our laundry

Sawatdee Kaa Bangkok

Well India kicked us on our way out the door. Figurative speaking anyway. Literally they almost wouldn't let Justin in the airport because his name was not on the confirmation documented I had printed from Thai Air. Then the bitches at the check in desk gave us a whole lot of 'tude. "Is there a post box at the airport?" I asked.
"No,"
"Really, because several people assured me that there was?"
She asked around. "No"
Then the guy checking in next to us asked what we were looking for.
"A post box," I said.
"O yes there is one right over there." It was within sight from the check in desk.
"But you could miss it," he said sheepishly because the woman behind the desk was glaring daggers. You could not miss it. After that Justin asked if we could have seats with extra leg room since he is so talk. Maybe first class he added good naturedly.
"I have plenty of aisle seat." She said icily, with the most bullshit smirk on her face. As we walked away from the check in desk Justin and I looked at each other and I could tell we were thinking the same thing. Let's get the hell out of India

We've been in Bangkok for two days, and we are already in love. Bangkok is like a playground for adults. Our hotel has a pool on the roof. There are 7elevens everywhere. You can drink in the streets. And the food is incredible, and you don't have to worry about getting sick from it. Even the stuff on the streets is safe, which is good because it also delicious and super cheap. You can eat, drink or check your email 24 hours a day. We went out to DJ Station last night, a gay bar in the Patpong district. I was invited up on stage to shake my tits with a fat drag queen. These things are always happening to me.* On our way to the club we got offered tickets to the ping pong sex shows, which are famous here, about two dozen times. I am sure you can imagine what that entails, but if you are not very imaginative google it or youtube Priscilla Queen of the Desert. We also had the most delicious margaritas. And our tuk tuk driver did some stunts with us in the back on our way home. We've been to the mall twice. But only to one of the malls. I have counted at least four. We can't go to the others because of all the pesky protests.

O yea did I mention the political unrest. No? Oh I guess it slipped my mind. I am not sure how since it has been on the cover of the Tribune everyday since we arrived. Probably I forgot because the papers make it sound scarier than it really is. In fact from what I have seen the Thai protests are more like street fairs or music festivals. In fact there are live bands and pop groups performing, and there are stalls with food and souvenirs for sale. So how a Thai protest is different from a music festival I can't figure. The red shirts really know how to throw a good protest. Except for the whole shutting down the malls and storming the parliment. In fact there is a state of emergency in Bangkok right now, but so far the only impact it has had on us is divered traffic and a slight hike in tuk tuk prices because of detours.

Bangkok has really great public transportation. We've taken the Sky train everywhere, and the water ferries and even the public buses which are super easy and cheap to navigate. Tomorrow we are going to the floating market in the morning, and then we are going to spend the afternoon at the pool and go out for dinner and dancing. Life is rough...

* Happy ending massages galore

India a Go Go

Today is our final day in India. We are in Nashik for the next hour and then we have a shared ride to Mumbai airport. Our flight to Bangkok is at 11pm, Mumbai time. We arrive tomorrow morning Bangkok time 5am. We've already booked our hotel room near Khao San Rd. Our hotel has a rooftop pool! So excited after a month in the desert to go swimming. Bangkok is going to be Hot Hot Hot, but probably not as hot as India. At least not this oppressive dry heat. We are super stoked. Will update from Bangkok soon!